Recap
Another productive and enjoyable week. Podcast is really starting to take shape with some incredibly valuable guests.
1 Learning
Anger is a secondary emotion
This means that there is an emotion underneath anger that is feeding it.
Anger is an emotional reaction to a difficult emotion.
Scary emotions such as fear or sadness can make us feel vulnerable and out of control.
Subconsciously, we can shift into anger mode as a means to avoid these feelings and feel within control.
Anger is used as a control mechanism during the uncertainty of vulnerable emotions.
E.g,
In relationships, anger is often amplified by the fear of abandonment that is felt underneath.
The uncertainty and lack of control can fuel the anger.
While having a sense of control is correlated to emotional well-being, an excessive desire to control everything leads to suffering.
So if you’re feeling incredibly angry, ask yourself: what primary emotion could be feeding it?
1 Quote
“Life rewards the specific ask and punishes the vague wish” – Tim Ferris
Intentionality. If you want to achieve something, you have to be taking specific steps to get there.
Simply put, you will be rewarded for being intentional and punished for being unintentional.
Action can be a faulty metric for progress
You need to have clarity around where you are, where you want to go and the actionable steps in the middle.
It sounds simple, it can be.
Take the time to figure out the most effective way from A to B before wasting so much time.
I always learn the hard way. But it’s a constant refinement process to improve effectiveness in achieving my goals.
1 Idea
The presence of negative emotions does not equal poor mental health
In a very diagnostic and pathologised society, we’re creating a culture that is afraid of negative emotions.
This creates a pressure to maintain happiness and escape negative emotions.
Emotions contain powerful information, they balance us and serve a vital role in doing so.
E.g, shame
When we do something morally wrong such as name-calling someone, we might feel shame.
This emotion is actually healthy. It instructs us that the behaviour is unacceptable and make up for it.
With intense negative emotions, we may fight hard to avoid this emotion so we push it down.
We shove negative emotions like shame, guilt and sadness down because they are uncomfortable to feel.
But they serve a vital role.
Poor mental health is actually a dysfunction.
We lose healthy normal emotional functioning.
It means we have altered thinking, feeling or behaving that is meant to be.
One of the primary causes of this is repression.
Pushing down our negative emotions because we don’t want to face them, feel them.
In doing so, we lose our ability to connect our mind and body.
We escape the feeling temporarily but long-term escapism will always come back to bite us.
The important lesson is that valuing the role of negative emotions can encourage you to feel them.
By feeling them, you face them and use them. Instead of being used by them.
Pod Summary
#96- Mackenzie Burgoyne – Athlete and business owner. This man has conquered many incredibly endurance feats including 7km mountains, 200km runs and 1000km hikes. He started his own business in the health & fitness space and has incredible value from his journey.
#97 – How can men support women and lower male violence? A powerful episode with two men taking the advice from women to help guide the discussion around how men can do more to help women during this time. Men need to do more and this episode outlines why it’s so important and how we can.
Thank-you for the support.
Egan